“Which was worse, to walk around with everything held inside so that no one really knew you? Or to have these feelings exposed to the whole world?”

I think what would be worse is to tell everyone everything. If you did that, everyone would know all of your secrets, everything. People could spread rumors about you and hold things against you. Like if someone did something bad, and you knew of it and said you were going to tell someone, they could blackmail you with what they know of you. I just dont't think that I would want to do that.